Wedding Etiquette for Grooms

Following the correct etiquette is important when you are getting married. While most brides will page through Emily Post or Miss Manners a few times along the way to planning a wedding, very few grooms pay attention to the finer points of wedding etiquette. This is not to say that the men are excused from knowing the proper way to do things. These are some basic rules of wedding etiquette which every groom should know.

The first thing that a groom should know actually comes before the engagement. A true gentleman will ask the bride's father for her hand in marriage before proposing. These days, it is a mere formality, since most women will make their own decision about whom to marry, nonetheless, it is a charming custom. A more contemporary version of this custom would be to ask the bride's father for his blessing, if not specifically for his permission. The main reason to speak to the bride's father in modern times is because it shows respect. It will do wonders for the groom's status as a worthy match in the eyes of the bride's parents.

There is etiquette regarding engagement rings which men should also learn. First of all, know that you can be formally engaged without a ring. All that is required is an accepted proposal. So while most women do wear engagement rings, it is not mandatory if finances or some other reason make it impractical. Grooms who do opt to purchase an engagement ring should know that they do not have to pick out the ring in secret to surprise their girlfriends when they pop the question. It would be in very poor taste for a woman to exchange an engagement ring, so any man who does not feel confident picking out a style can consider shopping for the ring together after his proposal has been accepted. By the way, in the unlikely event that an engagement is broken, custom says that the woman must return the engagement ring if she broke things off, but that she may keep it if the man ended the engagement. The same rule applies for any other wedding jewelry gifts which have been exchanged.

Groom suits follows a straightforward format, in keeping with etiquette. A formal evening wedding calls for black tie; the daytime equivalent is called a morning suit. With a tuxedo, you will wear either a vest or cummberbund, but never both together. The most formal type of wedding attire is white tie, which is reserved for winter weddings which begin at 7pm or later. Semi-formal wedding attire for grooms consists of a suit and tie, while informal attire could range from khakis with a blazer to a shirt and tie with no jacket. While it is nice for the groom to discreetly express his personal style in the form of a subtle pattern on his socks or tie, a wedding is no place for apparel like a tuxedo printed t-shirt (actually, there is no occasion for which that should be worn!). The bride-to-be may give the groom wedding jewelry gifts like a pocketwatch or cufflinks which he can wear for the wedding.

Grooms should also know the customs involving their attendants. Most men will have at least a best man, and often a few groomsmen stand up with them at the wedding ceremony. The best man can be whomever the groom feels closest to, such as his brother or best friend from college. There is also a custom of having the father of the groom serve as best man. As for the groomsmen, the general rule is to pick your closest friends, keeping in mind that they need to be able to comport themselves appropriately for the wedding. You do not need to have the exact same number of groomsmen as bridesmaids. The groom is responsible for giving groomsmen gifts to show his appreciation to his attendants. Classic choices include pocketknives, cufflinks, watches, and the like.

While it is customary for the bride's parents to pay for most of the wedding expenses, the groom does have several traditional responsibilities. These include the bride's bouquets, the groomsmen gifts, the bride's wedding ring, and the honeymoon. In modern weddings, it is no longer as common for the bride's family to bear most of the financial burden, so the groom should definitely feel free to pay for more of the expenses if he can. Now that you know the basic etiquette for grooms, you will be ready to get married!

Tips For Choosing Grooms' Shoes

After finally settling on your tungsten wedding bands, a cake, a groom suits, and the groomsmen, the last thing you want to do is go shoe shopping.

Your wedding shoes just have to be shiny and black right? No. Picking the wrong pair means you could be stuck in the most uncomfortable shoes for the duration of your wedding - a good thirteen hours.

And picking the wrong style will leave a lasting impression that you're the kind of guy who can't pick out his own footwear.

"I liked everything but his shoes... Did you see them? Hideous"

Groom Shoe Shopping Made Easy

Here are some tips for men to choose the right fit and style for their nuptial attire.

Grooms may have easier than their fashion-conscious brides, but still run into difficulties choosing to wear lace-up dress shoes, slip-on leather loafers or canvas sneakers with their nuptial attire. The most important thing for guys is to make sure they get the shoes that match their tux or suit. Specialty clothing stores for suits and tuxedos usually sell dress shoes, but it's vital to check price and fit.

Otherwise a groom could end up stuffing his size thirteens into a size ten. Imaging trying to do the chicken dance in too-small shoes. Ouch.

What is truly important for the groom, and his groomsmen, is the comfort and look of the shoe. A groom will feel more confident walking next to his beloved if he likes and feels comfy in his entire wedding outfit. Leather dress shoes can vary from heavy or soft leather but either way, leather allows the feet to breathe.

Many grooms choose a more casual and fun approach to their wedding and opt to wear tennis or canvas shoes with trendy socks. What a way to add a laid-back twist to the ceremony and say, "I'm here to have fun."

A good thing for guys to remember when they go out shoe shopping is to take socks and/or insoles that they will be wearing at the wedding along with them. This way, they can find just the right fit.

And yes, socks do matter. There are two types: ankle and knee-high. Make sure you try both with your suit/tux and shoes to see what looks best.

Budget help: it is appropriate for the groom to wear an old pair of dress shoes, just as long as they are neatly polished before the wedding!

Now that you've got an idea about what to put your feet in, a reminder for both sexes is to always take the time to break-in your new shoes! Do not wait until the wedding day otherwise you might be so sore that you will have to sit out for that special "first dance" with your new spouse! The general rule for the amount of time you need to "break-in" a pair of shoes is four days for heels and three days for leather shoes for about one to three hours around the house or even at a wedding event. Try them out on different surfaces to test for potential slipping!

General wedding shoe-shopping tips for both men and women:

• It doesn't really matter when you buy shoes as long as you do not leave it for the last minute.
• Choose a nondescript shoe so that the focus can be on your dress or tuxedo
• Measure both feet at a shoe store. Sometimes, one foot is bigger than the other, especially if you've recently gained or lost weight
• Also consider the width of the shoes. Shoes may not be great if they are too narrow because they may cause blisters
• By all means buy online; just do it in time